It’s taken me a year to unravel — to stop hiking, gym-going, thoughtful eating. It’s taken me a year to become — at least on bad days — an ancient old woman.
I think I will have to remember that it took a year for everything to come apart. And that it will take a year to knit it back together again.
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April 10, 2007 at 8:43 pm
rubyshooz
I care about you – a fellow woman who has breast cancer. I admire your blogging about it here. I’ve been trying to do the same, but every time I start to write on my own, I am not sure who is reading it or even why I’m writing it.
Know that your blog is touching someone else here in the world and you are not alone. My life is so turned askew by the news, “Well I’m sorry but it IS breast cancer you have.” – I am still in the reeling stage and I wonder if we ever regain our feet at times but you have given me some hope. Thank you so much.
April 11, 2007 at 6:18 am
bloglily
Hello Rubyshooz, Thank you for this very kind comment. I do think that no matter who reads what you write, for some people the act of writing helps them make sense out of what happens to them and gives them courage. For others, that time might be better spent making cookies or getting a pedicure, or reading a really good novel — all things I spend a good deal of time doing myself.
I do want to tell you that you DO regain your footing. It’s just that your feet are not in the place they were when you first fell down! That’s not an altogether bad thing, and what I have to say here, on this blog, is presently about that.
If there’s anything I can do to help or support you, please let me know. It is good to talk to people who’ve gone through this. Although everyone’s story is different, we do have many things in common.
much love, Lily
April 11, 2007 at 7:19 pm
rubyshooz
Aww!! You’ve brought tears to my eyes, but that’s actually par for me today. It’s been a bit of a rough day and I’m about to attempt to write about it on my own blog which is sometimes hard, but like you said, it’s helping me to:
1. Have a place where family members and the few who care to find out the current status since it seems to be changing pretty fast.
and 2. I find myself writing stuff I didn’t even know I was feeling. It’s been limited since I’m in some pain after my initial operation, but I feel it’s important to share this stuff so I’m trying.
I love your outlook and your empathy and don’t be surprised if I do indeed ask for help. I’ve felt lost in this initial stage, and I know that’s normal (whatever normal is!) and I’m trying to keep those feet moving …. where, I don’t know, but I don’t feel like I can just sit here w/o actually looking around and seeing what feels right for me. I don’t tend to take the beaten path alot of times and sometimes I have to start cutting my own path and seeing how others are working at this, helps alot.
Thank you again Lily and really, much love back,
N.